How Do I Ask My Crush Out?


There you are, sitting innocently in class, waiting for the teacher to begin the lesson. You pull your homework out of your school bag, when suddenly they come in.

Your heart feels like it’s stopped and your face begins to heat up. Yep, it was them again. Your crush. Then they walk over and sit beside you. As if it wasn’t hard enough to talk to classmates in general, now your crush has finally decided to sit beside you!

No. Today will be the day. Today will be the day you finally gather up your courage and ask them out. Only question is… how?

It’s tough to talk to other teenagers alone, but when you want to ask that special someone out, the difficulty level triples. ‘Ordinary’ people find it hard to ask others out, but they manage to do it. And you will too.
How to ask someone out:

1) Breathe
The first thing to do is actually remember to breathe. Shy teenagers get so worked up and nervous that their breathing stops. There are plenty of breathing exercises you can do, but the simplest one is to breathe in for three seconds and then exhale for four.

2) Make sure no one else is around
Neither of you will want the pressure of other classmates nearby. Especially with the gossip that might follow if they hear you. Sometimes it helps to have background noise, however. Somewhere near the football field is a good idea, because everyone is watching the match, but there’s still noise around you (unlike the canteen, for example). And don’t worry, the setting doesn’t have to be romantic.

3) Have a light conversation first
It’s helpful to warm up your conversational skills first by having a light-hearted conversation. It doesn’t have to be about much, because you don’t want to get any more nervous by trying to think of something to say. Just chat about homework or your surroundings (so the football match, for example).

4) Ask the question
OK, you don’t have to necessarily ask, “Do you want to go out with me?” There are plenty of less-pressurised approaches to asking someone out. For example, “Hey, do you want to meet up at the weekend?”, “Hey, I was going to go see [insert popular film] this Saturday, want to come with me?” etc.

5) Ask for their number or facebook
This is good for staying in contact with them. But it’s also useful for when you two actually go out on that date. You don’t want to turn up at the Cinema and suddenly wished you could ring them to see where they are.

6) Change the topic
It’s good to appear casual about the situation. There’s no reason for the two of you to suddenly be awkward for the rest of the conversation. Just causally change the topic to something else. It’s as easy as just saying something like, “Cool, I’ll see you there then. Oh wait, what time is it? The bell might ring soon.” Then proceed to check the time and move the conversation onto something else.

7) If they say no
Again, just try to look causal. Just shrug and say, “OK, sure that’s fine.” and change the topic. Simply keep remembering to breathe and try to keep a poker face. It’s alright if your face turns red, they won’t mind as long as you just act casual.

Just because you’re shy doesn’t mean you can’t go out on a date. Everyone is nervous when they’re dating anyway, so you’re not alone. Asking people out doesn’t always get easier, but it is very doable. Of course, there is always the option of texting them. But that’s generally frowned upon and your crush may think you don’t respect them enough to ask them out face-to-face. It’s fine for future dates, but for the first one, it’s best to just stick to asking them in person.

Now go ask that cute person out. 😉

Photo by tanjila ahmed

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